Lost to Chaos
by tygralione
Summary: Celestia wakes one night, troubled by her past. Feeling guilty and ashamed for setting her best friend on the path of evil. When she finally manages to apologise and tries to atone for her wrongs, something goes terribly wrong. Could all of Equestria be in danger again? Based on CosmicUnicorn's Discordantly and Kilama's... So I Became One.


This fanfic is based on the events that occurred in Cosmicunicorn's Discordantly, and ...So I Became One, by Kilama, with some alterations to minor details.

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Gasping and lying in a pool of cool sweat, I woke from what I knew was my conscience bugging me. I remembered the day well; the day I'd set him on the path of evil with my own hooves. Luna was still sleeping soundly; my sudden start had not stirred her rest. Rolling over, I tried to forget the torment I'd instilled in the eyes of what used to be a kind but mismatched creature.

'Discord," I moaned softly, tears falling on my pillow.

I could never reverse the damage I'd done to that poor soul. We were young. I know that's no excuse. I should have accepted his invitation. I was a brash child; arrogant and swept up in the image of being a princess. Not truly understanding that not only was a princess to be seen, but to love and care for her subjects above all else. That mistake had almost caused the extinction of the alicorn race. In my current mind, I could see no reason for rejecting the poor creature in my memories. He had been the sweetest of all my friends albeit his ferocious exterior. My childishness...

I sighed. There was nothing I could do now to change the past, and there was no use dwelling on what could have been. Even with his recent escape, I could not bring myself to face him alone. I had luckily been able to entrust the duty of his recapture to my faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, and her friends. I know it was selfish of me to expect so much of such young ponies, but they were now the wielders of the elements of harmony, so it was unavoidable. However, I still breathed a sigh of relief when Twilight had agreed to take on such a task for me, despite Pinkamina, *ahem* Pinkie Pie's debate of chocolate rain.

"Such a random pony," I chuckled as I found myself wandering about the castle.

My hooves carried me onwards, I myself not knowing where they were taking me as I was lost in thought again. Our last encounter had left me shaken. I'd played the part of the strong ruler, but inside, seeing his face, it just brought back a flood of memories I'd desperately tried to lock away.

"Oh, I'd forgotten how grim you can be Celestia," his voice resonated between my ears.

How I had managed to keep from breaking down, I have no idea. After the girls had left to retrieve the elements, Discord had returned to torture me a little more.

"Celestia," he cooed mockingly, "Do you enjoy the new kingdom I am creating?"

I'd retorted angrily, "How can you put the ponies of this land through such torture?"

"The same way you put my heart through torture when we were just children," he growled, one of his talons tracing up my neck, scratching at my skin.

I flinched and he chuckled.

"I had but one friend in the whole world," he continued, "Just one. One of the most elegant ponies I'd ever laid eyes on. Pink, flowing mane, bright eyes, and what I thought was a kind heart."

His words cut deep and he knew it. He was smiling maliciously as all I could do was sit by and watch as he destroyed all the harmony in the land. I couldn't even speak as he threw constant jabs at events in our past.

"I guess you never noticed, Celestia," he smirked, "Those flowers, they were your favourite, white daffodils."

_He still remembers, _I thought, sighing.

"Discord," I mumbled, "back then..."

"Oh ho!" he mused, "So the pretty princess is going to try to reconcile with the monster. Well it's too late! I finally discovered who I was truly meant to be that day. I thank you wholeheartedly for opening my eyes to my true nature."

"This isn't how you are supposed to be Discord!" I raged, "You were kind and selfless. Anypony would have been lucky to have you as a friend. I was lucky to call you my friend."

"And yet you threw me away in disgust!" he growled, "You were just like the rest, you never truly cared for me. You were playing the part of the princess who cared about everyone. You were selfish, Celestia. You were never truly ruler material. You have always selfishly ruled your kingdom under the guise of love, compassion and harmony. Yet who do you see, risking their lives to stop me? Not Celestia, oh, dear me noo! They are courageously galloping to their doom while you cower in your little castle."

"They are the true master of the elements of harmony now," I shot back, "I have no control over their power anymore."

"Oh Celestia, you can't keep secrets from me," he chuckled darkly, "I saw the flush of relief when you first realised that fact. You were afraid to face me alone, or even at all."

"You don't know anything," I scowled, "You think you know me, I am not the filly I used to be."

"Oh, I quite agree," he sneered, "you've grown taller, have longer, more elegant wings, you now care for all of the ponies of Equestria. That much is true. But you have failed to grow emotionally. You still hide your embarrassment from everyone. You may have more power, but instead of using it, you let other little ponies run about doing your work for you."

I glared at him, trying to find a rebuke, but none arose in my thoughts.

He laughed as he floated by my head.

"Cheer up, Celestia," he smiled wryly, "If you're a good little princess, I'll let you be my personal slave in the new kingdom of Chaos."

At that moment, a cotton candy cloud appeared above my head and a downpour erupted onto my head.

"I think brown quite suits you Celestia," he mused with a sneer.

The next thing I knew, I was storming out of the room in the most un-princess like manner. He didn't follow me, nor talk to me after that and the next thing I heard was the rush of magic as harmony was restored to my lands. I knew he would be locked away for a long time this time.

I looked up into the stone face of the being who was once my friend. The horror filled expression frozen there was enough to make the tears start up again.

_I did this to you, _I thought, dropping to the ground at his cold, grey feet.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed.

The night was cold and silent. The clouds crossed the moon and I was cast into shadow. When I looked into his face again, I thought I saw his eyes on me, but I knew it couldn't be so. Slowly, I dragged myself upwards and onto unsteady hooves. As I began to head back to my room, I heard a noise, I turned to see who it was, but no one was there; no one but him. Again, I heard the noise and looked about. It was so small, so quiet that I surprised myself with the fact that I could hear it. I searched all the grounds, but no matter where I went, the noise emanated from a central point. As I turned to look at him again, the moon came out from its hiding place behind the clouds, and I saw that his eyes were on me. As I moved around, they followed me. I lowered my horn in caution. Discord was no longer the misshapen bundle of joy I'd known in the past. Though I regretted it, he has evil now and hell bent on chaos and disharmony. Though his face was stuck in that pained expression, it seemed, different.

"My old friend, turned foe," I mumbled, looking down as the streaks on my face renewed themselves. "I could never tell you how sorry I am for everything I have put you through. I wish I could undo the pain and mend what I have broken, but it's impossible."

I drew in a ragged breathe and l looked into his eyes. I drew myself up, trying not to distrust my weary legs, and walked forward as calmly as I could manage. I stared up at him when I drew close. I conjured a beautiful mismatched bouquet of all sorts of flowers.

"You could never choose which ones were you're favourite," I chuckled as I lifted them into his arms with magic, "All so different and never truly belonging together but having the most beautiful fragrance when they were."

I smiled up at him and could have sworn I saw a tear in his stone eyes. I lifted into the air slightly so that I was at his eye level.

"This is how your reply should have gone," I whispered into his ear and smiled sweetly.

I cast a memory projection charm. We were young again. My pink mane flowed as I looked at the cute yet mismatched little creature before me.

"You know the Summer Sun Celebration is coming up," he said in a high pitched voice that I'd long forgotten, "And I was wondering if you would go with me?"

He produced a small bouquet of white daffodils, not fancy like those at the palace, but still a sweet gesture. I looked at them and took them from his claw. They smelled so sweet. He was right; they were definitely always my favourite. I looked back at him and beamed.

"I would be honoured if you were to escort me," I replied regally, bowing low.

As I looked back up, he smiled. This was his presence in control of his action now. We were making this memory change together.

I jumped at him quickly from my bow and began tickling him as we fell to the ground. I nuzzled into his neck and he sighed.

"This isn't real," he mumbled.

"We can make it real," I whispered back.

He looked at me as the spell began to fade. Before it disappeared completely, I kissed him deeply, and then, it was gone. He was stone again, and it was the present. His grey form illuminated in the moonlight, I looked up into my old friend's eyes and stopped in shock. A crack had formed across his forehead.

_What have I done? _ I thought, panicking.

The crack began to grow. It split and headed in all directions. After several seconds, I light shone from between the crack covered surface and I had to shield my eyes against it. When I looked back, the statue had disappeared, and a small bundle of fur, feathers and scales lay where his feet used to be. I approached the now empty pedestal and tapped the creature with my hoof. He rolled over, the young Discord, and stared into my eyes.

"Do you mean it Tia?" his high voice pierced the silence. "Would you really be with a horrible looking monster like me?"

I smiled down at him and quickly stooped to kiss his cheek.

"Always Jangle."

His form shifted and grew. In moments he looked like the discord I knew today, but it wasn't. His usual red and yellow eyes had changed back to the beautiful clear blue ones from his childhood and his judging sneer had vanished. For the first time I'd known since we'd grown, he smiled at me; a genuine, warm smile full of happiness.

"Discord?" I whispered in awe and he shook his head. I beamed. "Jangle!"

His smile never broke as I leapt into his arms and we were both sent stumbling to the ground. We laughed as I tickled him and leapt to my hooves.

"Let's go!" I gasped through my laughter.

"Where?" he asked; his voice lacked its usual gruffness.

"To Raise the sun of course!" I giggled as I pulled at his paw. "We have to celebrate the new prince."

"There's a new prince?" he asked,

"Of course there is," I gasped as we ran to celestial tower. "We must let Equestria know of the new Prince Jangle."


End file.
